"Devarim” means both words and things in Hebrew. The difference between them becomes clear only in context. Used mindfully, devarim, “words” can convey reciprocated respect even when they express difficult messages.  And yet, used as defenses, devarim can mean things and experiences that have caused hurt and get in the way of what we need to feel better and or deal with life challenges.  Essentially, devarim are more than things and words. Devarim in our lives are greater than the sum of our parts. They are truly mirror images of who we are as humans. Much of any emotional healing process is unlearning the hurts of "devarim".